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You need a will at key life events — marriage, having a child, divorce, remarriage, or a spouse’s death — and you should review it again at least every five years even if nothing major has changed.

It’s a new year – a good time to focus on the forest through the trees and answer my most frequently asked question. It’s also a time to remember and reexamine our highest callings, so I devoted some serious time and thought to how I can best help my clients.

Perhaps it’s also a time to use each other as touchstones to help us get back in touch with our core values as professionals. So I welcome your feedback. And allow me to encourage you to write about your top priorities and number one questions, too.

Imagine how much we could learn from each other – and about ourselves.

What is the role of an estate planning attorney?

An estate planning attorney helps you protect your assets and plan a secure future for your loved ones by:

• Making the process accessible and convenient. If you’re looking to create your will or become an executor of an estate, a good attorney understands you’re taking this on in addition to everything else in your life, and works to make it easier — meeting by video, making home visits, or offering flexible office hours.
• Listening with sensitivity to difficult topics. Talking about death and family dynamics isn’t easy, and an attorney experienced in this area should be prepared to guide those conversations with care, not just paperwork.
• Clarifying your wishes so you feel confident in your decisions. Worries that a family member will be unhappy with their inheritance, or that the will could be contested, can be planned for and addressed in advance rather than left to chance.
• Tailoring the plan to your specific circumstances. Some families need extra protection built in — a child with special needs, an adult child with a drug addiction, a blended family, or a business that needs a succession plan. A good attorney helps you identify these issues and builds a plan around them.

Do I need a will when I’m getting married?

Drafting a will helps create a safety plan for you and your spouse, and any children either of you have or will have. Without one, state law decides who inherits your assets — not you.

Marriage is also the natural time to think about who would make financial and medical decisions for you if you couldn’t — a power of attorney and health care proxy usually go hand-in-hand with a new or updated will at this stage. And if either of you is bringing significant assets, a family business, or children from a previous relationship into the marriage, this is also when you should consider whether to sign a prenup, and if so, which provisions related to spousal rights of inheritance to include.

Do I need a new will when I am expecting a child?

When expecting a child, you will want to ensure they’ll be protected and cared for, and a will is one of the only ways to actually put that in writing. Creating a will, or revising a current one, is a powerful tool to help you achieve this goal.

Two decisions matter most here. First, you should name a guardian to serve as a substitute parent if something happens to both parents — without this named in a will, a court decides who raises your child, and it may not be who you would have chosen. Second, you should name a trustee to manage any assets your child receives until they’re old enough to handle them responsibly, since New York law doesn’t allow a minor to directly inherit and manage significant assets on their own.

Do I need a new will after a divorce?

After a divorce, it’s crucial to reexamine your will, if you have one, or create one if you don’t. New York law automatically revokes certain provisions naming an ex-spouse as executor or beneficiary once a divorce is finalized, but that automatic revocation doesn’t reach everything — beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and other assets that pass outside the will typically aren’t touched by divorce and need to be updated separately.

You’ll also want to address who will receive what from your estate going forward, as well as who will be the trustee for your minor children if you pass away. If your ex-spouse was named guardian for your children, that decision needs to be revisited too.

Do I need to update my will if I’m remarrying?

When planning to remarry, it is important to think about how you want your assets to be used after you pass, especially if either of you has children from a previous relationship. Some people want their assets to go first to their new spouse to use during their lifetime, and afterwards to their kids from the earlier marriage – a trust is needed to accomplish this. Others want their new stepchildren to receive a share of their assets – the will must direct this explicitly.

Neither of these outcomes happens automatically under the law. Without updated documents, New York’s default inheritance rules could leave your children from a prior relationship with less than you intended, or leave your new spouse without the protection you meant to provide.

Do I need a will after the death of a spouse?

At the unfortunate passing of a spouse, the person left behind is often overwhelmed with grief, as well as logistical issues. Family and friends can assist in many ways. One important way to help is to make sure the surviving individual’s estate is protected and will be distributed according to their wishes going forward.

This is also a practical moment to update your will, since your spouse was likely named as your primary beneficiary, executor, and possibly your health care agent or power of attorney. Those roles now need new names attached to them, and any assets you inherit from your late spouse should be factored into your updated plan.

Do I need to update my will after receiving an inheritance?

Similarly, people’s assets often grow through inheritance after the passing of a parent. Significant asset growth should trigger a review and likely a revision of your estate plan, not just an update to your bank balance.

There may be new assets to account for that your original will never anticipated — a share in a family business, real estate, valuable artwork, or a retirement account with its own beneficiary designation. Depending on the size of the inheritance, this may also be the point where more advanced planning, such as a trust, becomes worth discussing with your attorney.

How often should I review my will?

Every 5 years, you should review your will, even if none of the events above have happened.

The law changes, and your attorney must respond to those changes in your estate planning documents to make sure your wishes will still be carried out.

The people named as executor, guardian, and trustee in your will, and the successors named for each position, may not be appropriate for these roles anymore. They may have passed, become elderly or incapacitated, or you may have grown apart from them.

You may have moved to another state or even country. If your move is permanent, it is usually advisable to have a new will drawn up by an estate attorney well versed in your new jurisdiction’s laws.

It’s pretty impossible to list every life event that should prompt a will review. Why? Because life is messy and beautifully unique. So the 5 year default rule keeps you covered.

People often feel at loose ends when it comes to legal matters. But with estate issues, getting started really is half the battle.

How do I get started creating or updating my will?

Whatever stage you are at in the process, from your very first will to updating one you’ve had for decades, the Law & Mediation Office of Bracha Etengoff is here to offer guidance and support. A preliminary consultation is typically the first step, where we’ll talk through your family situation, your assets, and what you’re hoping to accomplish.

Call us today for your consultation at (347) 640-0993. We can meet with you by video or at a location most convenient for you, whether it’s our , or your home or office.

What happens if I die without a will in New York?
If you die without a will, New York’s intestacy laws decide how your assets are distributed among your closest relatives, which may not match what you would have wanted. The court also decides who administers your estate and, if applicable, who becomes guardian of your minor children.

Can I write my own will, or do I need a lawyer?
New York law allows handwritten and self-prepared wills in limited circumstances, but they’re far more likely to be challenged or found invalid than one drafted with an attorney. Working with a lawyer also helps make sure your specific family situation — blended families, minor children, or complex assets — is actually addressed.

What makes a will legally valid in New York?
A valid will generally requires the testator to be at least 18 and of sound mind, sign the document voluntarily, and have at least two witnesses sign as well. Missing any of these formalities can give someone grounds to challenge the will later.

Can I change my will after it’s signed?
Yes. You can revise your will at any time while you’re of sound mind, either by creating a new will or adding a formal amendment called a codicil. Informally crossing out or writing on an existing will can create legal problems rather than solve them.

What happens to my will if I move to a different state?
A will that was valid where you signed it is generally still recognized in your new state, but state-specific rules — especially around real estate, taxes, and executor requirements — can vary enough that it’s worth having an attorney in your new state review it.